Alien Deception
by toxic-rose
Summary: Another Irken crashes on the planet Earth, before she can contact anyone for help Dib finds her and brings her to his lab for experiments. Zim finds out and now both him and the new Irken are out for revenge upon Dib, and no one will get in their way.
1. Chapter 1

Alien Deception, an Invader Zim Fanfiction

Part One:

Vex stumbled down the steep staircase, trying her best not to fall, but just as she had almost reached the lowest level of the palace the planet began to shake violently.

It had started with sporadic trembles, then pockets of smoke which giveaway to bursts of fire that shot up through the planet's gaping cracks. The planet was going to explode.

Vex tumble down the last dozen stairs, trying to will her body to move. She'd been badly injured during her unfinished battle with Diviant. He'd almost killed her. Had it not been for the planet quake that had torn the thrown room in half she'd be dead. If she didn't get up off the ground she would be dead.

With great difficulty and unimaginable amounts of pain Vex pushed herself up to her feet and ran down the dark and twisting tunnels, trying her best to keep her balance as the planet continued to shake, until she finally found her Voot Cruiser. It had been at least nine years since she'd hidden it. She prayed that it still worked.

She heard and explosion and many terrified screams that followed. If she didn't leave now she'd be too late.

She lifted her fragile body into the cruiser, feeling as darkness began to cloud her vision and senses. She couldn't give up now, not when she was so close to saving herself.

She punched in her personal identification code and the cruiser came to life. The jet thrusters turned on, causing the Voot Cruiser to hover in mid-air, just in time for the floor to cave in. The control consol flashed; it was waiting for Vex to key in the coordinates.

Vex fought to keep her eyes open. Using a great deal of strength to lift her arm and pressed in random coordinates; anywhere was better then this forsaken planet.

The Cruiser took off, breaking through several of the palace floors and shot into outer space. Just as Vex had broken through the planets ozone layer she watched as Tosna, the planet she'd resided on for the last nine years, imploded, killing off the entire race of Tosnonians. It was a sad day seeing as her mission was now considered a failure and her heart had been broken beyond repair.

The rocks, remains and debris of the planet flew through space in all different directions and at incredible speed.

Adrenalin rushed through Vex's veins as she grabbed the steering gear of her Voot Cruiser and began to weave the little space ship through the remnants of Tosna. The smaller rocks hit the cruiser denting it slightly but Vex was more concerned about the larger asteroids that were flying everywhere littering space.

Just as she'd managed blast away more of the rocks using her Cruisers duel laser canons and clear herself of most of the danger; she saw a large boulder flying towards her from the right. She tried to steer the Cruiser to the left but the boulder smashed along the right side of the ship. One of the engines went out. Landing would be impossible, she thought to herself as her body went limp from exhaustion and she fell to the floor of the cockpit. At least she'd managed to clear the asteroid field, which once used to be known as Tosna. She looked down and watched her blood slowly trickle down her arms, from some of her more extensive wounds. She didn't even care anymore. She moved her gaze to the open abyss that was outer space. This was the last thing she saw before she surrendered to the blackness of unconsciousness.

center /center 

Dib swivelled his computer chair away from the screen. He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Homework had slowly begun to take over his life. College was harder then he thought. He assumed that paranormal studies would be easy for him, which it was, but it was very time consuming with all the required research. He hardly had any more time to spy or try to rid the Earth of Zim.

He placed his glasses back on his face and looked out the window. It was dark out. The streets were completely empty, seeing as it was just passed one in the morning. Suddenly he saw something flicker across the sky. Dib jumped to his feet and grabbed his telescope. This couldn't be an asteroid shower or a comet, he would have known about that in advance.

He looked through his telescope and when he had managed to focus in on the fast falling object his mouth dropped in shock. Another Voot Cruiser, just like Zim's! Maybe it i was /i Zim's- no, not even Zim was dumb enough to drive his Voot Cruiser around where humans could see him. Zim hadn't done that since they'd been in grade four.

Dib watched in breathless anticipation as the small alien ship crashed into the forest within the park.

He jumped off his bed, grabbed his long black trench coat off the back of his computer chair and ran out of his house and into his small black Honda civic, speeding towards the park, hoping that no one had seen what he just saw.

center /center 

The crash had woken Vex from her dreamless sleep. The first thing she noticed was the extreme amount of pain she was in. Where was she? She managed to move her head to the side to see the ships screen flashing in Irken symbols, 'DESTINATION REACHED! PLANET EARTH!'

Vex had never head of that planet. She tried to pull herself out of the Cruiser, not wanting to be found by the habitants of this planet. She had to hide her Voot Cruiser and make a disguise. If only she still had her SIR unit; it would have recorded all of this planets research for her, but she had to leave it behind on Tosna. She then realized that, as hard as she'd been trying, she hadn't been able to move. She was hurt and weakened from everything that had happened to her. She realized that this could very well be her impending doom. She'd tried her best and had failed her mission as an invader. She was sure that the Tallest were already aware of what had transpired on Tosna. There really wasn't a point to live anymore, so Vex closed her eyes and let the blackness roll over her and consume her once again.

center /center 

Dib ran through the field and into the forest. His heart was racing as the cold night air blew passed him, causing his coat to whip at the back of his legs. His boots pounded hard against the leaf covered ground.

He'd seen the ship land somewhere around here, he decided. He stopped running to catch his breath and see if he could hear anything. He panted heavily for a moment before he straitened his body and strained his ears. All he could hear, at first, was the cold autumn wind blowing through the trees and the sounds of a noisy owl over head- then suddenly he heard it! A very quiet hissing noise and a constant beeping sound. The ship was close.

He followed the noise and found the purple Voot Cruiser with the black symbol of Zim's race; the armada, painted on the side, although this ship looked as though it was in far worse condition then Zim's. Sure this ship had crash landed on Earth but that didn't explain the numerous dents on the exterior or the large scratch that ran all along the right side of the Voot Cruiser. The right engine also appeared to be badly damaged, seeing as it was hissing with steam and shooting off sparks.

Dib jumped into the crater of dirt the ship had caused during impact and began inspecting the contour of the ship. After a quick examination he'd managed to find a opening latch located just on the right side of the Cruiser. Before he opened it, however, he pulled a Shock Anti-Disrupter that he'd made, so that if the alien was still alive inside the ship Dib would give him several hundred volts of electricity. He also carried a small squirt gun in the pocket of his coat, knowing that Zim's alien race had an intolerance to water; it caused them to burn horribly.

Once armed with his weapons he deemed himself ready for whatever was in the Voot Cruiser and pressed the latch, causing the broken and cracked glass canopy that covered the top half of the ship to disappear into the rear of the ship.

Dib peered into the mass of broken computer panels, destroyed alien equipment, smoke and sparks.

"Er. . .hello?" Dib said weakly, not quite knowing what else to say. When no one answered him Dib decided to was safe to go in. He climbed into, what he assumed to be, the cockpit. As he began to sort through everything that had been jolted and thrown around during the crash Dib noticed a black gloved hand, with only three fingers, buried under several sparking cords and cables. They appeared to be the same kind of gloves Zim had.

Dib smiled to himself as he cautiously dug out the unconscious alien, carried her out of the ship and laid her down onto the forest ground. Once she was free from the wreckage Dib examined her. Her clothes were almost the same design as Zim's, only purple, much like Tak's had been. She appeared to be only slightly shorter then himself, he estimated her height to be approximately 5'4. She was thin and appeared to be in good physical form, for an alien, excluding the fact that she was badly injured from the crash or a potential fight before that. Dib also noticed that, much like Zim, she had no sign of visible ears, had green skin and two black antennas, one of witch appeared to be broken. She looked to be the same age as Zim, but even Dib had a hard time trying to figure out the difference between Zim's races years and human years. Dib had first met- or rather encountered Zim in grade four, when he was ten. At first Dib assumed Zim was the same age but once the stupid alien had let it slip that in human years he was 159 years old and that was already eleven years ago.

He carefully lifted the dead-like alien and quickly carried her back through the dark forest, the vast field and the empty park, lying her down in the back seat of his car. Tomorrow night he'd go back for the Cruiser but until then he felt confidant that no one would find it, considering that no one ever went into the forest. All that mattered, at the moment, was to get his newest test subject back to his lab and begin the experiments.

center /center 

"Foolish dirty humans!" Zim laughed evilly to himself as he flipped through his new text books. "For the last two years I've been attending that 'college'." Zim made air quotations as he said the world. "And every year the idiot pig-filth teachers tell me in more detail how to destroy the world and kill of their insufferable race." He threw his thick geography, psychology, human anatomy and political studies text books down to the floor of his underground lab.

"GIR, pick those books up and take them upstairs." Zim commanded his malfunctioning SIR unit.

"Only if you dance with me." GIR said with a big smile as his eyes glowed blue.

Zim glared at the small robot, being all too familiar with GIR's behaviour. "Forget it, GIR." He said warily.

"Aww." GIR cooed. "Please? I'll see a song." He persuaded.

"GIR, how many times must I tell you that the great ZIM has more important things to do then to dance with-" he was suddenly cut off my an incoming transmission from his leaders, the Almighty Tallest.

"My Tallest!" he yelled. "Why have you honoured Zim with your presence?" Zim saluted towards his huge wall length monitor.

Red and Purple were standing in the cockpit of The Massive, the largest of the Irken ships, in which they traveled. To Zim's great surprise they weren't eating any snacks, nor did he see any empty snack wrappers around them.

"This transmission is being sent to all of our Irken Invaders who are on missions for Operation Impending Doom 2 and 3." Red announced.

"This is ZIM!" Zim cried out.

Red rolled his eyes, "We're not just talking to you, Zim."

"Eh?" Zim questioned, scratching his head in incomprehension.

"Just listen, Zim." Red snapped. "Now we have some very bad news." He announced.

"Very, very bad." Purple added.

"One of our most promising invaders, who we'd sent out for Operation Impending Doom 3, on mission to invade and conquer over our races most dangerous enemy planet. . ." Red trailed off and slowly turned towards Purple, "Eh. . .what was I talking about?"

"You were about to tell them that Invader Vex is dead." Purple reminded him.

"Oh, right!" Red said with a smile as he smacked his own head with the palm of his hand. "Invader Vex is dead. It's a sad day for Irken's everywhere."

"Oh! But there is good news!" Purple cried out. "Although one of our best invaders is dead she somehow managed to blow up our enemy planet as well as herself, or so we assume!" he nodded happily as he took out a bag of Irken chips.

"We no longer have to worry about Planet Tosna or its evil inhabitants ever again!" Red assured.

"Although, if we had conquered the planet we could have used it as a place to store our snacks." Purple pointed out.

Red nodded in agreement. "It would have been so wonderful." He said dreamily, and then pulled himself out of his thoughts. "Anyway, that's all we had to say."

"Buh-bye now!" Purple said and the transmission ended.

"Invader Vex." Zim said out loud.

"Went KABLOOM!" GIR yelled out, running around in circles.

"Why does that name sound so familiar?" he asked himself, paying no attention to GIR. "Computer, bring up Irken records of Invader Vex."

"Data processing." The booming voice of the computer announced and the screen loaded to a picture of a short Irken girl with big round purple eyes and spiral antenna.

"Ah, yes." Zim muttered to himself as he read over her records. "Now I remember her. I was her superior while in training at the Irken Invaders Academy." He tapped his fingers against the computer consol. "She was a nice enough Irken girl. . .but that was her weakness, she was far too personable. Unlike me. ZIM HAS NO WEAKNESSES!" he yelled, his voice echoing through the entire lab.

"She's real pretty!" GIR pointed to Vex's picture on the screen.

Zim shrugged, "That holographic photo was taken a long time ago, GIR. She may look very different now." Zim informed.

GIR nodded enthusiastically, "She gone an' 'sploded now." The small robot began to chew one of the thousands of electronic cords underneath the console.

"Yes, GIR, a fellow invader is dead. It's sad but it happens. Now let's go upstairs. I need to do some minor repairs to the Cruiser and your stupid human show is on."

"Monkey!" GIR cried as he ran for the elevator, not wanting to miss a single second of 'The Angry Monkey Show'.

Zim followed closely behind, not bothering to exit of out Invader Vex's personal Irken Invader Academy file.

center /center 

Dib looked down at the alien who was now bound to his stainless steal autopsy table; her chest was arched considerably, seeing as her PAK was fused to her back, which Dib had realized earlier when he tried to remove it. He spun around on the heel of his boot and walked over to his computer, where he snatched up a stack of papers he'd just printed out. On each one of these papers was a different experiment he wanted to perform on the alien.

This was perfect! He thought to himself as he did a little dance. After he preformed his experiments he'd offer all of the results and the alien over to the Swollen Eyeball in return for re-admitting him into their network.

The Swollen Eyeball Network was a group of highly sophisticated people who devoted all their time to researching the field of paranormal study. Dib had once been apart of this network under the alias of Agent Mothman, but on his twenty first birthday, which was only a couple months ago, one of the head agents of the Swollen Eyeball, Agent Darkbooty, had told Dib, via video conference, that he was officially no longer an active member of the Swollen Eyeball Network, nor should he ever try to contact them again. When Dib asked why he was being thrown from the group Agent Darkbooty explained that it was because of all the false accusations he'd made in regards to Zim being an alien, seeing as Dib never had any solid proof concerning his accusations. The members had finally had enough of Dib's stories, so they kicked him out of their organization.

Dib had been furious. It was all because of Zim. Dib made a promise to himself that he would find solid proof that Zim was an alien and get re-admitted into the Swollen Eyeball but now he didn't even need Zim, he had his own alien.

First off Dib had to make sure that this alien was in fact the same race as Zim. He quickly wrote down her supposed gender and physical appearance. He then took off her black glove and reached into his coat pocket coming out with his squirt gun. He aimed the plastic toy at her green nail-less hand and squirt water on it. He watched the water for several seconds before he received the reaction he'd wanted. The alien's hand began to sizzle and bubble as though he'd just poured acid on it.

Dib was writing the effects down onto his paper when he heard the alien speak.

"It burns." She said meekly as she slowly opened her big purple coloured eyes.

"You can speak English, just like Zim." Dib stated as he continued to write.

She tried to struggle in her restraints. "Who are you?" she demanded. "Where am I?"

"I wouldn't struggle too much. You appear to be hurt quite badly, so putting more strain on your body probably isn't the best idea." Dib explained as he took his eyes off his notes and looked down at her. "And you are in my lab, which is located on the planet Earth."

"Earth." She repeated the world.

Her voice wasn't irritating and annoying like Zim's, it was more melodic and soft. She also didn't seem to have any different accent either, unlike Tak who sounded as though she had an Australian accent, Dib thought to himself.

"Yes, Earth. The planet Zim has no doubt called you to so you could assist him in conquering it." Dib said as he walked around her head and removed her other glove.

"Zim?" she questioned, trying to process all the information.

Dib gave her a sceptical look. "Yes, Zim." He moved to her feet and removed her boots. "I 'm almost certain that Zim called for help and now you're here." He voiced his suspicions.

The alien shook her head. "I have received no such transmission."

"Un-huh." He muttered sarcastically, choosing not to believe a word she said. "Now does this outfit have a zipper or will I have to cut if off?" he asked and watched as her eyes went wide in horror.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"To figure out the female anatomy of an alien." He answered simply. "Now you have quite a few tears in your outfit as it is, so would you care i that /i much if I just cut of off?" he questioned, then before she had a chance to answer he spoke again, "Never mind, I found out how to get of off." He began to pull off her uniform as she struggled to free herself.

"Please stop." She said pathetically as she lay, now naked on the table.

Dib ignored her pleas. "I've already discovered that your alien body repairs itself faster then that of a human. I'm almost positive that you heal more quickly because of your blood. It's several shades darker then human blood. I'll need a sample, of course, to test my theory further."

"I heal faster because the Irken race is far more superior then your filthy Earthling race!" she angrily spat at him.

Dib stared her in the eyes, "You are definitely the same race as Zim." He said dully. He was used to being fed the same insults over and over again by Zim.

She struggled more against the restraints around both her wrists and ankles. "This has nothing to do with Zim!" she cried out in frustration.

"So you admit to knowing him then?" Dib asked with a half smile and an arched eyebrow.

"Yes, of course I know him, but I haven't had contact with him for a very long time- now release me!" she demanded

"I realize that you're probably feeling a little awkward, what with you being completely exposed and all, but don't worry, I'll put your clothes back on before I place you in the data containment tank." He said and saw her eyes close as her body began to tremble.

"This backpack thing of yours doesn't come off, does it?" he asked, changing the subject as he poked it with the dip of his pen.

"Unless you want to kill me I suggest you leave my PAK where it is." She hissed.

"I'd always wondered about Zim's. . .PAK, did you call it?" he leaned in closer to her body to inspect it.

Vex smiled to herself as the human got closer to her PAK. When he was mere inches away, with lightening speed, she released her spider-like mechanical legs, hitting the Earthling directly in the face. She smiled to herself as she watched him fall to the ground clutching the right side of his face. While he was down she used one of her mechanical legs to reach into her PAK and retrieve her Hand Held Communicator. She may not be able to contact her base or SIR unit, both had perished in the explosion, but if this disgusting Earth man was speaking the truth then she might be able to relay a message to Zim's base or his SIR unit.

Just as her message for help was being transmitted Dib snuck up behind her and threw his activated Shock Anti-Disrupter on her, causing her to drop her communicator as her spider-like mechanical legs retracted into her PAK, her body convulsed and then went limp.

Dib poked her arm lightly to make sure she was out. When she didn't move he slowly pushed himself up to his feet and reached a hand up to his busied eye. There would definitely be a mark in the morning. He let out a deep sigh as he picked up his data sheets and looked back to the alien, only to see that her PAK 's coloured spots had begun to blink red on and off.

"Re-animation complete." The PAK's charging cell announced as it stopped blinking.

Vex opened her eyes and glared at Dib, who in fright squirted her midsection with his plastic water gun, watching as she seethed in pain.

"If you try to call for help or try to escape one more time I will submerge you in water until you beg for death." He threatened her, meaning every word of it.

She glared at him and spoke, "Filthy Earthling." Her words were dripping with venom.

Dib ignored her and began his examinations.


	2. Chapter 2

Zim sat under a tree outside of the college building, waiting for his next class to begin and fiddling around with his Hand Held Communicator. It had been in the process of receiving a transmission very late the night before but the signal and message had been lost before it had completely transmitted. Who would have been trying to contact him? Not the Tallest, they had a direct link to his computers and base system.

Zim gave up and placed the communicator back in his PAK, assuming that GIR had tried to send him a message and had failed or lost interest before it had completely gone through.

He stood up from the ground, dusted off his uniform and re-adjusted his itchy contact lenses.

"Need some new lenses, Zim?"

Zim turned around to see Dib walking over to him. "I wouldn't talk, Dib-Stink!" Zim said noticing that Dib had a black eye. "Who harmed you, Dib? I would like to thank them."

Dib took no notice to what Zim had said and continued to smile. "You and I aren't as different as I once thought." Dib said, his smile turning into a smirk.

Zim waved a dismissive hand in front of Dib. "Nonsense, you are a filthy breed of germ carrying wormlike stink-human. What could we ever have in common?"

"The way we reproduce." Dib said.

Zim gave him a speculating look, waiting for him to continue moving his mouth up and down to make words come out.

"Well, your Irken species doesn't seem to have the organs needed to recycle your intake of food, which leads me to believe that everything you eat and drink is condensed by your PAK and spread throughout your body to provide you with the necessary nutrients for your survival." Dib paused for a moment to think, and then continued, "That actually explains why you can't eat most Earth food. Your PAK can't condense the food so it makes you violently ill."

Zim's eyes were wide in horror. How could the Dib-Beast know all of this?

"Back to the point though!" Dib said, not bothering to hide the fact that he was enjoying scaring Zim. "Your race reproduces basically the same way as humans do. Your females have the same reproductive parts, so I assume your males have the same parts as human males as well."

Zim lowered one eye while he widened the other as he openly glared at Dib. "How do you know such things, Dib-Stink?" he growled.

Dib only smiled, "Let's just say that the back up you called in for won't be of much help to you now." He laughed to himself as he began to walk away towards his next class. "Better hurry, Zim, you don't want to be late for class, now do you?" he called over his shoulder.

Zim was too busy in his own thoughts to insult his enemy. Dib had spoken of him requesting back up. Zim would never ask for assistance on his mission! He was a mighty Irken Invader! Why would he ever need assistance? Why did Dib say he'd requested- "There's another Irken on this planet!" Zim cried out having finally come to that conclusion. His eyes went wide as he continued to speak out loud to himself, "Dib has the Irken!" he began to run home, thinking the whole time of the poor Irken who had been imprisoned and possibly tortured by the Dib-Beast.

When he reached his house he headed strait for the toilet, situated in his kitchen, which acted as an elevator that took him down to his lab.

As soon as he stepped foot off the elevator he issued a command to his computer; "Computer, report all Irken technology activity on the planet, excluding my own."

"Technology detected." The computer said.

Zim tapped his foot impatiently on the floor. "What sort of technology was it?"

As small list appeared on the screen;  
-Voot Cruiser

-PAK; Mechanical Legs

-PAK; Charging Cell

-PAK; Hand Held Communicator

"This other Irken was the one who tried to communicate with me last night. Dib-Stink must have interfered!" Zim muttered. "Computer, scan Dib's house for any humans." Zim instructed as he keyed Dib's houses' coordinates into the system.

"No humans present." The computer replied.

"Good." Zim hissed, rubbing his hands together. "I'm going on a rescue mission." He announced to no one in particular as he quickly ran to the elevator, thinking to himself that he still had a least another half hour before Dib's class ended.

As Zim was running out his front door he bumped into GIR, who was in his green dog disguise.

"Why aren't you in skool?" GIR asked.

"There are more important things at hand, GIR." Zim began to walk down the side walk when he paused, "GIR, where were you?" he questioned.

GIR smiled. "I went to get a slushieeee!" he squealed. "Wanna suck?" he asked.

"GIR, when I'm gone your job is to stay here and guard the base!" Zim snapped.

"Iz cherry!" GIR offered his slushie again.

Zim let out an exasperated breath, "We'll talk about this later." He told his SIR unit and quickly ran down the street in the direction of Dib's house.

Dib sat in class impatiently tapping his pen against his notebook. Why had he been so stupid as to tell Zim that he was holding an alien prisoner in his lab? He'd been so proud of his own discovery that he wanted to flaunt his superiority over Zim. It had been a bad choice in judgement. What if Zim had already gone to attempt to rescue the female alien? He had to find out if Zim was in his class or not.

Dib reached under his chair and pulled out a black folder. He opened it to the first page which had Zim's itinerary written down.

"Human anatomy." Dib whispered to himself, receiving an angry glare from the boy sitting next to him.

Dib quietly moved to a desk further down the row so he wouldn't be heard as he pressed several buttons on his communicator watch.

"What do YOU want?" said the voice of his sister, as a small video image of her appeared on the watch.

"Gaz, I know you're still trying to learn your way around campus and you probably have no idea how to-"

"Get to the point, Dib." She growled.

"I need you to go to the biology building and check if Zim is in the anatomy room." He whispered into his watch while quickly glancing around the room to make sure he wasn't drawing attention to himself, which he wasn't.

"Dib, this is my only spare today, I am playing Game Slave VII, not searching for Zim." She said, wondering how she'd made it through all these years without killing her brother because of his obsession with Zim.

"Please Gaz!" he pleaded. "If you do this for me I'll buy you Bloaty's Pizza for dinner tonight." He attempted to bribe her.

Gaz appeared to be thinking about his offer and then nodded her head. "Okay Dib, but if I wasn't already in the biology building I wouldn't be doing this for you."

Dib arched a curious eyebrow, "Are you taking biology?"

"No."

"Then why were you in the biology building?" he questioned.

"You don't want to know." She muttered.

Dib hadn't ever really understood his sister. She knew all about Zim being an alien and she didn't care! He didn't know what was wrong with her.

"He's not there." Gaz said, pulling Dib from his thoughts.

"What?"

Gaz rolled her eyes in annoyance, "He isn't there." She repeated through gritted teeth.

"Where could he be?" Dib asked himself.

"Whatever." Gaz muttered, then added, "The pizza better be delivered by eight." And before waiting for her brothers' response she ripped off the watch and threw it into an empty jar that was already inhabited by pickled frog eyes, immediately ending the conversation.

Dib sat in silence, completely ignoring the professors' lecture and trying to estimate Zim's next move. Then it dawned on him, "MY LAB!" Dib suddenly cried out. The entire class went silent and everyone turned to him.

"Um. . ."Dib looked around the class, not knowing what to say. "I need to…go to…the bathroom." He said as he picked his notebooks up and moved down the row of seats, down the narrow staircase, passed the professor and out of the lecture hall, everyone uncomfortably staring at him as he left.

It had been several years since Zim had been in Dib's lab. Usually the memory of an Irken was razor sharp, like the blades of a Megadoomer X-3 Stealth Mech, but seeing as Zim had been on the verge of becoming bologna the last time he'd been to Dib-Stinks lab his superior Irken brain hadn't properly memorized the exact entrance.

Even though he was at a disadvantage Zim was still a resourceful Irken Invader and he had eventually found the entrance, and it had only taken him ten minutes, although he'd been forced to drill through several of the houses walls. . .sure he could've used the front door of the house, but to drill through it seemed like a much better idea.

Zim walked down the long curing hall that lead to the underground lab.

He doesn't even have alarms to detect intruders, Zim laughed to himself just as a computerized voice loudly began to repeat the word 'INTRUDER'.

Zim ran over to, what he assumed to be, the master computer console. He looked at the dozens of keys and buttons and hadn't the slightest idea of how to turn off the intruder alarm

"This technology is ancient! I've only been taught to use the most advanced Irken technology." Zim muttered angrily to himself as the alarm continued to sound over head.

Without taking the time to think of a reasonable solution Zim whipped out the remote for his large Skewer Drill and watched with glee as the large pointed machine on wheels drilled into Dib's labs' computer causing sparks to fly and a small fire to erupt. The alarm died down until it was nothing but a small buzzing noise.

Zim smiled to himself wiping his hands together as though he was trying to rid them of dust. "A job well done." He complimented himself. "Now to find the Irken." He said as he made his way deeper into the lab, stopping when he saw the autopsy table which was splashed with dark dried puddles of what Zim knew to be Irken blood. It was too dark to be human blood. Zim's eyes narrowed as he looked around the lab, his gaze stopping on a large rectangular shaped-thing with a sheet covering it.

Zim slowly walked up the three metal stares, which led to the device. He grabbed a hold of the sheet and pulled it away. What he saw made his eyes grow wide as he stepped away gasping in horror.

It was invader Vex. Dib had placed her in some sort of liquid filled containment tank.

The filthy Dib had put chains around both her ankles, keeping her bound to the bottom of the tank. He'd also managed to attach two large claw-like plugs into her PAK, no doubt being used to attain information about the PAK.

As for Vex, she looked in bad condition. Her skin was a far more pale green then it should have been, she had small scratches on her face and a large wound on her right shoulder that appeared to still be bleeding into the tanks thick liquid. Her uniform was ripped and slightly dishevelled.

When Zim had managed to stop staring in shock he quickly ran up to the tank and began pushing random buttons on the small laptop connected to it, which was gathering information from the large plugs attached to Vex's PAK.

After pressing every button and key he could see Zim looked back at the tank to see that the oxygen bubbles that had been floating out of Vex's mouth had stopped forming. She'd stopped breathing. Zim blinked several times before, in a state of pure panic, he grabbed his drill remote and stood back as the Skewer Drill began to drill against the tank's glass, cracking then shattering it in under 50 seconds.

The thick purple liquid splashed out in every direction causing most of the computerized machines to short circuit and shut down.

Zim quickly ran over the fragments of shattered glass and into the tank where Vex was lying in a crumpled heap on the floor. She was still breathing. Zim managed to pry the plugs from her PAK without doing any damage. He then pulled a purple infrared laser gun from under his uniform jacket and used it to cut through the chains around Vex's ankles. Once she was free Zim easily lifted her into his arms and began to make his way towards the labs entrance, the Skewer Drill following at his heels like a well trained, oil filled dog.

Just as Zim reached the long hallway he heard a voice behind him,  
"You're not taking her anywhere."

Zim turned to see Dib standing across the lab, by the broken tank. "I am taking her back to my base, Dib-Stink" Zim informed his enemy.

"No, you're not!"

"Yes, I am."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yep."

"Not a chance."

"I'd like to see you try to stop me."

"I'll stop you if you try!"

"Try what?" Zim questioned, clearly confused.

"Try to stop you." Dib explained.

"You may try but you won't succeed."

"Wait." Dib held up both hands. "I won't succeed in what? Stopping you, or getting that alien back?"

Zim thought about the question for a moment before he answered, "Both."

Dib shook his head in frustration. "Forget it! The point is you won't be leaving this lab!" he said confidently as he leaned against the railing that lead up to the, now broken, tank. "I've installed a security system that is voice activated to my every command." He said smugly.

Zim let out a small chuckle, "My plan has worked perfectly then." He lied, obviously not having had any sort of plan whatsoever. "Look around you, Dib! I have destroyed your lab. Your security system has been deactivated by the great ZIM!" he shouted out his name, causing Vex to stir slightly in his arms.

"Lock down!" Dib cried out, expecting bars to fall from the doors and the lights to switch to black light so the computer could detect where the intruder was, but nothing happened. "Lock down!" Dib said again but nothing happened.

Zim smiled, "You lose, Dib."

Dib jumped up from the railing. "I still won't let you leave!" he began to walk towards Zim with every intention of fighting him.

"Your security system isn't the only thing that's voice activated." Zim said with an evil smirk, causing Dib to stop dead in his tracks. "Skewer Drill, drill the Dib-Stink." Zim said, watching as the drill came to life and began to make its way over to Dib, who let out a yell of pure fear as he was chased around his own lab.

"See you later, Dib!" Zim called over his shoulder as he walked himself out of the lab.

"I'll get you for this Zim!" Dib yelled as he began to climb up several of the larger wires and cords along the far wall of his lab, the drill directly below him waiting for him to fall.


	3. Chapter 3

Zim burst through the front door of his house. "GIR!" he called, kicking the door shut behind him.

The small robot looked up from the TV to his Master, dropping the mayo covered chicken drumstick he'd been eating onto the floor. "Who's sheeee?" GIR asked, pointing to Vex, clearly intrigued by the guest. "She looks like you!" he squealed.

"Yes, GIR, she's an Irken but she's hurt."

GIR let out a small sniffle, "Will she be okay?" he asked with wide eyes.

Zim made his way into the kitchen. "If I help her now, yes, I'm sure she'll be fine, although had I not rescued her from the Filthy-Dib human I'm sure she would have died."

"You're a hero!" GIR screeched in admiration.

"Yes, I am." Zim said seriously as he stepped into the garbage can. "But there will be time to praise me later. Go get the emergency first aid kit out of the closet and meet me in the lab."

GIR's eyes turned red as he saluted Zim, "Yes, Master!"

"And don't let the robotic parents out!" Zim added as the bottom of the garbage can began to lower in and Vex down to his lab.

"Maybe!" he heard GIR chirp.

Zim shook his head in annoyance but quickly turned his attention to Vex. What was she doing on Earth? The Tallest had said that she'd been obliterated along with the beings and planet of Tosna.

The elevator stopped, allowing Zim to walk across his lab, lying Vex gently down on a pink cushioned table. First he'd have to tend to the wound on her shoulder, which would require him to take off the top of her uniform.

GIR appeared beside him holding a large black steel box. "Band-aid!" he announced.

"Thank you, GIR." Zim said as he pressed a button on the exterior of the box, causing four thin legs to shoot out of the bottom allowing the first aid box to stand next to him.

"I need to remove her jacket and-"

"Ouuu! She's gonna be naked!" GIR said excitedly.

Zim looked down at his robot, "No, she won't be naked."

"Ya-huh!" GIR countered.

"She will just be without a shirt." Zim specified.

"Oh." Was all GIR said, accepting what Zim had pointed out, but just as Zim began to reach for Vex's collar GIR screamed out, "BOOOOOOBIES!"

"Get out GIR!" Zim snapped, pointing towards one of the labs elevators.

"Aww." GIR whined. "I don't wanna go."

"I'm your Master GIR, now do as I say."

"Nope." GIR outwardly refused.

Zim let out a sigh of annoyance, but just as he was about to yell at GIR an idea came to him. "GIR, we have a guest." He said pointing to Vex with a fake smile. "I'm sure she'll be hungry when she wakes up." He remarked, and then continued, "How about you go upstairs and make her some-"

"WAFFLES!" GIR cried out.

"Yes, exactly." Zim said, pleased with himself for coming up with such a brilliant distraction for GIR.

"WAFFLES!" GIR continued to scream as he ran to the elevator.

Once Zim was sure his SIR unit was gone he went back to gently taking off Vex's purple uniform, but just as he'd gotten her shoulders free Vex's right arm shot up from her side, grabbing Zim's right wrist. She jumped off the table and ran behind Zim, pulling his arm behind his body, twisting it painfully while yelling;

"Not again, you disgusting Deserving-Of-A-Slow-Painful-Demise-Earthling!"

She was panting heavily and shaking. Zim knew that she was weak and probably couldn't take Dib in a battle, but she was putting up a good fight.

Zim stood still waiting for her to realize where she was and who she was with. It was only a few seconds later that he felt her grip on his arm loosen.

"Zim?" she questioned, looking around the lab that looked so much like hers had.

"Yes, Vex. I rescued you from Dib." He explained, slowly turning around to untwist his hand and face her. He watched as she inspected him from head to foot.

"You're tall." She said with a shaking voice, smiling for the first time. She closed her big purple eyes and began to waver. Zim caught her before she hit the floor and once again laid her down onto the cushioned table.

"You're tall too." He said, looking through his medical box.

"The gravity was much less heavy on Tosna then on Irk." She explained.

"Yes, same with Earth. I've managed to grow to the height of an average adult human."

"You're still slightly shorter then that…Dib, did you call him?"

"Yes, and you're still slightly shorter then me!" he said with a smile.

She shook her head, "Don't be offended by my words." She returned the smile, "You're probably almost as tall as the Tallest."

"Yes." Zim said, an almost gleeful look in his eyes. "Almost."

There was silence between both Irken's as Zim continued to rummage through the box.

"My Voot Cruiser!" Vex suddenly shouted, quickly sitting up on the table. "It crashed! I must get it back before someone finds it"

"My computer traced your crash to the forest by the park. No one goes in there. We shall go retrieve it with the Voot Carrier after dark." Zim offered. "Now lay back down. You're injured and weak."

"That Dib Earthling knows where my Cruiser is. He pulled me from it to take me to his lab to…" her voice trailed off, not wanting to think of what Dib had done. What kind of savage race of beings felt the need to examine and experiment on other beings? In all her years and travels Vex had never heard of such things. Switching organs with objects or other organs was one thing, but to pry and probe, to pervert was another.

Zim didn't push Vex to tell him what Dib had said or done, but eventually he'd need to know, for his mission.

"I'll go get your Cruiser as soon as I help you." He decided, trying to push her back down.

Vex shook her head, "I'm going with you." She said stubbornly.

"No." Zim instructed, not especially enjoying the company of another determined Invader. "You're weak and will only slow me down." He said.

"I still want to go."

"You don't have a disguise and you know nothing about this planet."

"I still want to go." She persisted.

"Dib might be there waiting for you since he knows you're weak."

"I'll stay here." Vex said.

Zim smiled and nodded, "That's what I thought."

"I'm not afraid of Dib." She finally said after several minutes of silence.

"No one is scared of Dib-Stink. He's far too annoying to fear him."

"I'm going to get revenge for what he did to me." Vex said with hatred in her voice.

Zim smirked, liking the way Vex thought. When he'd known her many years ago, back on Irk, she had always been far too compassionate for an Invader, but it seemed as though she had changed.

"In order for me to bandage your shoulder you must remove your uniform, but only the top." He instructed.

"Alright." She complied, taking off her right glove, then her left.

"VEX!" Zim cried out upon seeing her hand. It was a raw purple color with a red glossy film over it.

"Dib submerged my hand in…water, or at least that's what he called the clear liquid, for over two minutes when I refused to cooperate." She explained with a shrug. "He's a foolish Earthling. If he was smart he would've burnt my right hand, which I can shoot best with."

Zim couldn't believe the way Dib had treated Vex. If she wanted revenge Zim would allow her to use his lab, he would even assist in the dissection, if that's what she had in mind. They could talk about it later.

Zim brought his attention back to Vex. His eyes widened slightly upon seeing her sitting half naked, gently touching the wound on her shoulder.

"Stop touching it." He said. "Now sit still as ZIM fixes you."

Vex was completely silent as Zim cleaned her wound and used a clear adjustable skin tissue over the wound and fused it to her skin.

Just as he was finishing cleaning the other small scratches on her back GIR came in.

"I'm done makin' the waffles and- GREEN BOOBIES!" he cried. "On the TV they're pink." He added, more quietly.

"GIR!" Zim yelled angrily. He looked at Vex and his rage turned into confusion when he saw her laughing. "Why are you laughing?" he asked.

Vex turned to him, "Why are you so angry?" she countered.

"GIR didn't stay out of my lab, as I instructed and he made an inappropriate comment about your…uh…."

"My boobies, as he called them?" she finished. "My bekkles are green," she said, referring to them as Irken's did.

"We call them boobies here." GIR said. "And yours are green!" he cried out again.

"We get the point GIR." Zim snapped.

GIR began to run around in circles. "I made you waffles!" he said.

"Waffles?" Vex asked as she slipped her uniform back on, which had repaired itself while it was off.

Zim turned back towards his computer. "It's one of the only types of Earth food we can eat without getting horribly, horribly ill." He said the last word in a much deeper voice.

"I see." Vex said unsurely as she slowly stepped off the table, feeling much more steady then before.

"I will go get your Voot Cruiser now." Zim announced as he put his black wig over his antenna and blue contacts in his eyes. "Stay here with GIR until I return."

Vex nodded. "I will."

Zim smiled, at leas someone was finally listening to the orders he was issuing. He was after all the greatest Irken Invader. "ZIM!" he shouted out his own name in excitement, receiving an odd look from both Vex and GIR, who'd stopped running in circles.

"Why do you call your SIR unit GIR?" Vex questioned before anything had the chance to become uncomfortable.

"I'onno." Zim shrugged as he made his way onto one of the elevators, both Vex and GIR following him.

"GIR?" she looked down at the robot, who was knocking his head against both his fists.

"That's my name!" he shrieked.

Vex smiled, "It sure is. You're the special unit the Tallest used to talk about all the time."

"The Tallest spoke of me?" Zim questioned with a smile. "As they should!"

"Yes." Vex said uncertainly, knowing that back on Irk Zim was a bit of a running joke.

In Irken Invader Academy Zim had been top in his class, a very promising Invader, but it was because of his impatience that Operation Impending Doom I had been a complete failure. The Tallest had never meant for Zim to be a part of Operation Impending Doom II, considering that he'd been banished to Foodcordia and when Zim had showed up at the Great Assigning they devised a plan to get rid of Zim. They made up a planet and sent Zim to conquer it, with the intention of him getting lost in space so they'd never have to put up with him again.

Without any exact coordinates and a malfunctioning SIR unit Zim had managed to find Earth.

Zim stayed on Earth trying to conquer it while the Tallest only had to put up with him when he called. They doubted if he would ever conquer the planet, but at least it kept him far from Irk and the Massive.

Vex clearly would never tell Zim this. It would crush him.

"What's your name?" GIR asked her, pulling her from her thoughts.

Vex looked down at the SIR, feeling pity for both him and Zim. "My name is Vex." She said and watched as GIR's eyes went wide in shock.

"You went ka-blooy!" he said.

Vex turned her attention to Zim, who stepped out of the elevator and into the kitchen.

"Zim, what is GIR talking about?" she followed him through the kitchen. "Do you know about Tosna?"

"Yes." Zim said as he watched the circular Voot Carrier slowly descend from the floor above. "Voot Carrier, disguise as something less conspicuous." He instructed.

"How do you know about Tosna?" she asked, becoming slightly hysterical.

"I am GENIUS!" Zim cried loudly when the Carrier turned into a giant bumblebee, a Voot Cruisers only weakness.

"ZIM!" Vex cried out as loudly as she could, then became light headed and clutched the living room wall for support.

Zim ran over to her and helped her over to the couch. "You lost a lot of blood. You have to try not to get excited."

She nodded and placed her hand on her head, only to retract it and wince in pain a second later. "My antenna." She muttered.

"One of them is broken." He said, feeling bad for her as he looked at her useless twisted right antenna.

Vex moaned, and let her head lay against the back of the couch as she closed her eyes. She was at an all time low. One day her life had been perfect. She was ruling over the planet she'd been sent to conquer. Everything was perfect…and then it was all gone. She felt like crying, which was something that an Invader never did. Crying was a sign of weakness.

Suddenly Vex felt her body relax as a pleasant tingling sensation rolled over her. She moved her head so that it was lying on Zim's shoulder. A quiet purring noise escaped her mouth. Vex opened her eyes and saw that Zim was gently stroking her left antenna, which was something very intimate back on Irk that usually only lovers did. Love was another weakness Invaders had to avoid at all costs; this was a rule Vex knew the consequences of only too well.

Vex, regretfully, pushed herself away from Zim. "How do you know about Tosna?" she asked again.

Zim let out a sigh. "The Tallest announced to every Invader involved in Operation Impending Doom II and III." He noticed that Vex seemed to appear worried at this information.

"What did they tell you about my mission?" she asked.

"Only that you were on Tosna, the greatest enemy planet of the Irken Armada. They told everyone, but mostly me, that you were a superior Invader and you blew up Tosna yourself." He explained.

Vex's eyes narrowed as she processed the information. "Do you think that the Tallest knew more then they lead on to?"

"No. They would not keep secrets from their top Invaders, especially ZIM!" he cried.

Vex cringed slightly at the volume of Zim's voice. He was loud and causing her broken antenna to vibrate more then needed.

"Eh?" Zim questioned her pain, and then realized what he'd done. "Oh, sorry." He said more quietly.

"That's alright." She smiled. "So you believe that the Tallest told you everything they knew about Tosna?" she asked again.

Zim gave her a suspicious glare. "Yes, Vex. I believe the Tallest told us everything they knew. You, however, I think are keeping secrets from the Tallest and me! In my own base!"

Vex looked down to the floor, he was right, but she wasn't ready to talk about anything that happened on Tosna. "So, you should go get my Voot Cruiser before Dib does."

"Don't change the subject." Zim said.

"For all we know Dib already has it." She added.

"Fine." Zim grumbled as he jumped off the couch. He attached a leash to the bee shaped Voot Carrier and put a fake white beard on his face and a brown trench coat over his uniform.

"We will talk more about what happened on Tosna." He said, making it sound like more of a threat then a conversation topic.

"And you can tell me about Earth and the beings that reside here." She said innocently, batting her eyes at him.

"Very well." Zim agreed as he pulled the bumblebee Carrier out the door and towards the park.

GIR walked into the living room with a plate of waffles the moment Zim had shut the door behind him.

"Where have you been?" Vex asked, as he jumped up onto the couch, managing to not drop a single golden brown waffle.

"Makin' more waffles!" he said happily, and then his smile faded, "'Cause I ate all the others." He sadly admitted.

Vex laughed, "At least you made more." She pointed out.

"Try one!" he little robot insisted as he held the plate out to her.

She looked at the plate for a moment, then slowly picked one up and took a bite. It was definitely different then any Irken food, but it wasn't bad. It was actually very good.

"Like it?" GIR asked.

Vex nodded, "Yes, GIR. Very good. If I was your Master I would give you a memory up grade." She said, giving the SIR unit the highest compliment you could possibly give.

GIR shook his head violently. "I don't want that chippie thing."

"Chippie thing?" she questioned, and then it dawned on her, "Oh, you mean your memory chip-wait, you don't have one?"

"I have one, but I leave it in the toaster, it stays warm in there." He said happily, as though he was doing the chip a favour by not using it.

"Why don't you use it?"

"More room for…" he opened the top of his head and pulled out what looked like a colourful snack treat. "Cupcake!" GIR announced.

"Interesting." Vex noted. Every top grade standard-issue Informational Retrieval Unit was much more focused and capable of difficult tasks, which GIR could never be capable of, but GIR had one thing that the other SIR units didn't; he had a personality, a very strange and partially dim-witted one, but a personality none the less.

"GIR, you've been living on this planet for quite a long time now."

"Sure have!" he said, hugging the cupcake.

"What would you say are the Earthlings greatest weakness'?" she knew she might not get an answer, but she had to try. She would get revenge for what Dib had done to her.

GIR looked at her. "Aww, humans are just like us." He said, shoving the entire cupcake into his mouth, managing to get his entire face full of pink icing.

"Just like us?" Vex questioned, intrigued by what the SIR unit had just said.

GIR nodded, "Look!" he exclaimed as he used a remote to turn on the television.

A crying female Earthling was holding onto a man telling him how much she loved him.

The channel changed to a man standing in front of an open coffin with a female lying inside, "I loved you so much, maybe even too much. I even gave you my heart, in the literal sense seeing as I now have a mechanically engineered heart, but I would do it all over again to see you alive and well!" he said with a choked voice.

GIR flipped the channel again, "SCREW YOU!" a man screamed to another. "You killed her, now your ass is mine!" he added, lunging at his opponent. Both men began to roll on the ground and fight.

"My show now!" GIR squeaked as he turned the channel to The Angry Monkey Show.

Vex processed what she'd just seen and her conclusion was, "These Earth beings are all ruled by their emotions."

"Yep! Yep!" GIR chirped.

"They're nothing like Irken's then." Vex pointed out, giving the SIR unit a quizzical look, seeing as he'd failed to make his point.

"Aww, Vexxy feels happy and mad and sad and loooooove." He drawled out the last word.

"Yes, but as an Invader I am taught not to let my emotions rule me and to suppress them" she tried to explain.

"Nope." Was all GIR said, not accepting her explanation.

Vex didn't quite know how to react to his response. Her SIR unit had never contradicted her. "Um…Okay." She said, receiving no answer from GIR, seeing as his attention was on the television where an angry monkey was indeed yelling and screaming very angrily.

Despite the fact that GIR was, or so it seemed, greatly incompetent, he'd given her an idea of how to get revenge upon Dib. "You gave me the best idea, GIR,"

"Gooooooooooooood." He said quietly, still paying more attention to the show.

"I hope my Cruiser is still functional so I can make myself a disguise." Vex said to no one in particular.

GIR looked at her, "Shh." He put on finger up to his mouth. "Angry Monkey is on."

Vex nodded and picked up the plate of waffles, taking one for herself and offering the plate to GIR, "Waffle?" she asked, quietly, not wanting to disturb him.

"YES!" he cried, taking four and shoving them all into his mouth at once.

Vex relaxed back into the couch looking at the television screen, but not really watching the show. She was far too preoccupied with thinking of how she could spy on Dib without him catching her. She knew his weakness; she just has to figure out a way to use it against him.


	4. Chapter 4

"Sara?!"

"Yes?"

"Where are my glasses?"

"In my hand." She called somewhere deep within the house, to him.

"Why are they in your hand and not on my face?" he asked.

"Because you took them off."

"And that gives you free reign to steal them for yourself?" he pushed himself away from his drawing table.

"I didn't steal them." She said flatly. "I have my own pair, which are far nicer then yours, in my opinion."

"Uh, your glasses are exactly like mine."

"No, mine are nicer." She insisted.

"If you didn't steal them then why are they in your hand?" he called.

"Think hard." Sara said, over the sound of running water. "Why would I be in the kitchen with your glasses?"

He waited until the water stopped to answer her, "Because…you…want to…eat them?" he leaned on the back of his computer chair twirling his black pen between his fingers.

"Yes, you're right." She called. "I brought them in here to eat and what a feast it is."

She was being sarcastic, or at least he hoped she was. "You're joking…right?" he turned his gaze towards the door to see her leaning against the frame. Her long blond hair was messily thrown over her right shoulder, she wasn't wearing any make up, which he preferred, her black thick framed glasses sat on her nose causing the light to reflect off her blue eyes. It was only eleven at night but she was already wearing her dark pink pyjama bottoms with her black tank top and in her right hand she was twirling his black wire rimmed, slightly more oval shaped then hers, glasses!

"You didn't eat them!" he soundly concluded.

"My gut is already filled to the brim with mac and cheese and slurpee. There was no room for your eye wear, as tempting as they looked." She padded bare foot across the hardwood floor towards him.

"I cleaned them for you." She said, placing them back on his face and kissing his cheek lightly.

"They weren't dirty." He insisted.

Sara rolled her eyes. "They were filthy." She spun around and walked over to the bed on the other side of the room, falling onto it. "How's the comic coming?"

"Haven't you heard?" he spun his chair around to face her. "I've given up drawing comics. I am going to run away and join the circus. I hear they have an opening for 'Man Who Gets Eaten By Bear'."

"That bad, huh?"

"Slurpee run?" he asked.

"You just bought a Mega-Death-Defying-Super-Behemoth-Gulp not even an hour ago." She said, and then added, "I can see your half finished slurpee from here." She pointed to the enormous plastic cup on the small desk next to his drawing table.

"Oops." He said as he picked up the slurpee and poured it into a box of fan mail. "What a shame, I guess we have to go get another one."

"Very mature." She muttered.

"Let's go! 7-11 will close soon!"

She looked at him flatly with an arched eyebrow, "What part of open 24 hours a day don't you understand?"

"I don't understand the 24 part." He began to spin his chair around in circles.

"I'll make you a deal." She suggested, turning her body to the side so that her legs were hanging off the edge of the bed.

"I'm listening."

"We will go to Sev to get you another slurpee but only after you either finish at least one more panel or respond to five fan emails."

He appeared to be thinking about it. "Or," he countered, "I can clean up the sticky slurpee box, I've just created, instead of waiting for the giant man-eating flies to carry it away."

"You'll be cleaning up that box regardless of what option you choose." She insisted.

"I don't want to draw." He muttered, throwing his pen onto the desk.

Sara nodded and pushed herself off the bed. "Alright then, your choice has been made." She grabbed the back of his chair and began to wheel him out of the room.

"No! Not fan mail!" he cried as though he were in physical pain. "Anything but fan mail!"

"Stop being such a wuss." She took a left into the living room and pushed the chair in front of the computer desk.

He shook his head. "I'm not responding to five."

"Four then."

He shook his head again. "Four is almost worse then five."

"How is it almost worse then five?" she asked.

"Because four is practically five."

Once again Sara rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Fine, three, but that's as low as I'll go."

"Deal."

He clicked on the first message, cleared his throat and began to read out loud so Sara could hear;

" 'Dear Jhonen,' " he glanced over his shoulder to Sara, "At least she spelled my name right."

"See? We're off to a great start!" she nodded encouragingly.

Jhonen turned his attention back to the monitor and continued to read, " 'I love you. I read your comics and I feel like we are one! Your art work speaks to me, it's like you know what my soul looks like and then you draw it in comic form.'-do I have to read the rest of this?" Jhonen asked warily as he turned towards Sara, who was having a silent laughing fit on the couch.

"Y-Yes!" she managed to say through her laughter.

He rolled his eyes and continued to read; " 'I don't know if you remember me but I was the girl with the bright red hair and black glasses at the New York Comic Con.'- yeah, because it's not like there weren't hundreds of girls there with that exact description." He said sarcastically, then went back to reading the email; " 'When you signed my book you looked into my eyes and I could tell that there was a connection that passed between us. We're clearly meant to be together, spending our days discussing our angst and how much we hate the world that we are forced to live in and-"

"Because that's ALL we ever do." Sara said, trying to suppress yet another fit of giggles.

"Can I finish please?" Jhonen said sternly, acting as if he actually cared about this fan mail.

"Sorry, continue." She urged.

" 'We could get matching tattoos and we can decorate our house with dark movie posters and'- and that's all I can take of that!" he declared, not bothering to read the rest of the email and instead clicked on the 'reply' button.

Sara grabbed one of the large grey couch cushions and swung it at her boyfriend, slapping it against the right side of his face.

"Ow!"

"You didn't finish reading it!"

"It carried on about our interior decorating for three pages!"

"Oh." She said. "What kind of sick girl is this?"

"She signed her name as Olivia Sorrow." He muttered in slight disgust. "Now I shall read my response." He announced; "Dear Olivia, I'm elated that you like my comics, but you shouldn't take them too seriously. Also, that connection you felt between us, I'm about 98 positive that you were feeling the intense sensation of gas. You see like a scary and devoted girl, but I'm afraid I cannot move in with you, nor will you ever find out where I live, because contrary to popular belief, I do have a girlfriend. Try to get a life. Thanks for the email, never send me one again. I only do one response per person, if that." He spun his chair around to see his girlfriend, who was looking very amused indeed.

"You're an ass." She said with a smile.

"How much do you want to bet that Olivia places a hit on you?"

Sara let out an exasperated sigh. "Don't flatter yourself. She wouldn't go through all the trouble to have me killed just to get you to herself."

Jhonen only shrugged. "Next email!"

"Onward!" Sara punched the air.

" 'Dear Fuck-Face' " Jhonen read, " 'What's your problem?! Why haven't you published any comics within the last year? I go to all the trouble of buying all your merchandise just to have you turn into a lazy fat ass! I hope you chock on your own tongue. Fuck you, Bill' " Jhonen cleared his throat before reading his response as he typed it;

"Bill, Firstly, I've published two comics this year. Secondly, what merchandise of mine did you buy exactly? You seem to have me confused with some sort of band. I don't have any merchandise other then my comics and maybe a few posters. If you do own my comics: good for you!" Jhonen sent the reply and began to laugh uncontrollably.

"What's so funny?" Sara asked, not getting the joke.

"I signed the response 'From Fuck-Face'."

Sara let out a burst of laughter. "For someone who hates fan mail you're hilarious when you respond to it."

"I'm naturally hilarious, it's a gift."

"We're so close to going to get your slurpee."

Jhonen nodded. "Right. Last one." He opened the email and immediately shook his head in refusal. "I'm choosing another email!"

"No! You can't!" she cried, hitting his hand with the pillow before he could exit out of the page. "You already opened it! Now you have to read and reply!"

"But it's from Dib." Jhonen said, looking at his girlfriend with pleading eyes.

"He's not even that bad."

"Yes he is!" Jhonen cried, turning the computer chair around to face Sara. "I used one of his alien ideas in a story once and now he won't leave me alone!"

Sara shrugged, "He's just happy that you published one of his ideas."

"That's just the thing, Sara, it wasn't just and idea, he was convinced that the aliens in his stories were real."

Sara's mouth dropped. "Oh."

"The only reason he keeps sending me emails is because he's convinced that if I keep publishing comics with his ideas it will strengthen the awareness of my readers to what's 'really out there', I believe those were his exact words."

"Well…was the story idea he gave you good?" she asked.

He waved his hand at her dismissively. "That's beside the point-"

"No it's not." She cut him off. "You've been having problems lately coming up with ideas that are fit to publish, so meeting with him might be a good thing."

Jhonen looked at her with an arched eyebrow. "You're joking, right?"

Sara shook her head. "Just meet him for coffee or something. Listen to what he as to say and you can leave when you get an idea. I'll even call you ten minutes after you meet to bail you out if the situation is really THAT bad."

"No." he stubbornly refused.

"Fine, I'll go."

"What? Go? Go where?"

"I will go meet with Dib." She clarified.

Jhonen let out a laugh of disbelief. "No you won't." he spun the chair back towards the computer, scanning the email.

"You can't tell me what to do, Jhonen." Sara said coldly.

"He wants to meet me at the park tomorrow at 9:00 p.m." he summarized the message.

"Then tell him you're busy but that your personal assistant will meet him there." She instructed.

"Why are you pretending to be my P.A?" he questioned, leaning against the back of his chair.

Sara rolled her eyes, as though the answer should be evident. "Dib obviously wouldn't want to talk to your girlfriend. He sounds like a guy who's more official."

"I don't have a personal assistant. Comic book writers don't get P.A's." he pointed out.

"Yeah, but Dib doesn't know that." She said with a smirk. "And if he asks I'll just say that you're an eccentric who spends a good sum of his money on a P.A, instead of gaming systems." She said, looking over towards the TV, where the floor was littered with Nintendo's of every kind and more games then she could count.

"I am eccentric." He said. "You'd have your cell phone with you?"

"Always."

Jhonen was silent as he typed out a response to Dib's email. Before he sent it he looked over his shoulder to Sara. "Are you sure about this? You really want to willingly meet with this guy?"

"Yep!"

He shrugged and clicked the 'send' button. "Slurpee now?" he asked.

"Yes." She smiled and rose to her feet. "But I'm not changing out of my pyjamas. I will only put a jacket over them."

"That's fine with me." He nodded.

Sara buttoned up her brown jacket, which had been lying on the couch. "Let's go." She urged.

"You've deprived me of sugar for too long. My will to move is gone." He groaned. "Go on without me."

"Sweet Jesus." Sara muttered as she walked over to him, grabbed a hold of his hands and hoisted him to his feet. "Now go get your boots and coat." She instructed, putting on hand on her hip. "This was your slurpee run, not mine. I am far too full to want more food or drink."

"So does that mean you're not going to get a delicious sugar filled icy beverage?" he called from the bedroom, where he was attempting to find his boots.

"Oh, no, I'm getting one. I'm just saying when I get fat you'll know who's fault it is."

"Duly noted." He said, returning to the living room. "Now, to Seven Eleven!" he cried, punching his hand above his head as though he was expecting to fly through the roof and all the way to Sev.

Sara opened the front door, "After you."

Jhonen looked slightly crestfallen as he walked through the door, letting Sara lock it behind them.

Dib fell onto his bed, resisting the urge to kill his entire family. This had to be one of the worst days of his entire existence. Not only had Zim rescued his little girlfriend but he'd also managed to destroy most of his lab and somehow transferred the space ship out of the forest and most likely back to his bas. On top of all that Dib had been forced to use the rest of his money to buy Gaz her pizza.

Dib let out a frustrated yell as he threw his pillow across his room, only to have it collide with his computer causing the mouse to fall off the desk, so that it was hanging in midair by its cord.

"With my luck it's probably broken now." He muttered, pushing himself off the bed and sitting down at his computer to find out that not only was his mouse not broken but he had an email from Jhonen V.

Dib quickly read the email. His frown turned into a smile. Jhonen had agreed to meet with him, well his personal assistant was meeting with him, but that was almost as good. Did comic book writers have personal assistants? Dib questioned himself, and then shook his head. What did it matter? Soon his knowledge of alien anatomy would be published for the world to see. Maybe this wasn't the worst day of his existence after all.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"And this contains all the knowledge you've managed to gather on these 'Humans' and the planet Earth?" Vex questioned, holding a computerized hand held Information and data-storage processor in her hands.

Zim, who had been attempting to fix her Voot Cruiser, let out a small laugh. "Silly Vex, that's just the first volume."

Vex turned to him, "What do you mean?"

Zim put down the small welding laser he'd been using, walked across his lab, and pressed a small purple button on the wall, causing a cable to shoot out of the dome roof of the lab. Hanging from the cable was over twenty hand held information and data-storage processors.

"This is all my gathered knowledge about the humans and this planet." Zim said with a proud smile. "Impressive, isn't it?"

"Very." Vex said, surprised that Zim had done so much work. With all of this information she was sure, once the Armada arrived, they'd be able to easily take over the planet. "And you gathered all of this information by yourself?"

Zim nodded, walking back towards the Cruiser. "I couldn't count on GIR storing all the knowledge so I did it myself."

"Are the Tallest aware of how much information you've already acquired?"

"Eh?" Zim poked his head up over the Voot to look at Vex. "No, I'm sure the Tallest are already aware of how GREAT Zim is doing, concerning his mission."

"Zim, you should really show them all of this." Vex looked again at all the gathered data. If the Tallest knew that Zim had been successful for the most of his mission then they and all of Irk would probably take him seriously.

"I will tell them only if they ask." Zim's muffled voice was heard from inside the Cruiser's cockpit.

"Alright." She said, abandoning the subject. "So…how's my Cruiser looking?" she asked as she approached Zim, trying not to step on one of the many tools he had scattered on the floor around the ship.

"It's not in horrible condition for the damage that was inflicted upon it." Zim reported. "But, I can't get it to start."

"Have you checked to see if the extension transistor is properly hooked up to the cores reactor?"

"Of course I have!" Zim snapped.

Vex bent down and opened the core panel, which was situated on the bottom right side of the ship.

Zim inspected the dual energy pods. "I just can't see why it won't start!" he angrily muttered to himself.

Upon closer inspection Vex found the problem. She shook her head in annoyance as she plugged in the extension transistor, which had come loose, and locked it into place. The cores reactor sparked to life and the Voot Cruise immediately started and began to hover in place.

Zim jumped off the ship in shock. "I don't know how, but once again ZIM has come out victorious!" it was then that he noticed Vex standing up and wiping her gloves on a rag.

"I always manage to get the cores liquidation fluid on me. Once I didn't notice it and it ended up eating right through my gloves. My hands were glowing radioactive blue and silver for a long time after that."

"You?!" Zim cried in disbelieve. "You fixed this?"

"Yes." Vex replied. "I built this Voot Cruiser."

Zim's eyes went wide in shock. "You?!" he cried in disbelief, "You did this?"

"Um…Yes."

"So…" Zim tapped his foot on the floor and scratched his head, as though he was trying to figure out some sort of difficult equation. "You did this." It was more of a statement this time.

Vex nodded her head. "Yes, I built it myself, and it took me a very long time."

"Because you couldn't figure out how to put it together? He made the assumption.

"No, I knew how to build it; it was finding and tracking down all the right parts that was difficult." She saw Zim staring at her with a clueless, blank expression on his face, so she continued, "The Voot Cruiser is a retired ship, so they don't make parts for it anymore.

"WHAT?!" Zim cried. "They don't make Voot's anymore?!"

"Uh, Zim, they haven't been making Voot's for a very long time. You were actually still on Irk when it was retired."

"I don't believe you. You LIE!"

Vex shrugged and threw the, now dirty, rag into a waste compactor. "Whether you believe me or not is irrelevant. No one uses Voot's anymore. Every Irken is flying around in Spittle Runner's or Shuwer's."

"Ew." Zim shook his head in disgust. "The Shuwer was the worst ship ever made!"

"I couldn't agree with you more." Vex nodded as she made her way back to Zim's information units.

"How much of this is about Dib?" she asked.

Zim smirked. "Are you going to go through with your revenge?"

"Of course. I already have a plan."

"Really?" Zim was surprised. Vex had only been on Earth for a short time and she already had a plan of revenge thought out. He was impressed. "What kind of plan is this?"

She looked at him and smiled, "It's a secret." She watched as Zim's antenna's lowered and a frown showed. "But you'll be in on it when it's time." She assured, watching him perk up immediately.

"Alright, I'll permit that." He said as though he had authority over her, which he did not.

"Before I can execute my plan to hurt…er, Dib-Stink, was it?" she asked and received a nod from Zim. "Right, so before I get my revenge I need two things. One is a disguise and second…I'll need to use your lab." She said the last part very quietly, pretending to be busy doing something with her PAK, and hoping that he maybe hadn't heard her at all.

"Hmm." Zim walked up to her and inspected her from head to foot. "You're Cruisers holographic projection system isn't working but I think I have an extra disguise that might fit you."

"Fit me?" Vex placed her hands on her hips. "Aren't you just going to give me a pair of contacts and a wig?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you have to inspect me like that?"

"To see if the wig would fit."

"That's stupid." She accused.

Zim's eyes went wide in anger. "You dare call ZIM stupid?!"

"Yes!" she took a step closer to him.

"ZIM is not stupid!" he cried, taking another step closer to her.

"Fine!" she shrugged, now standing only inches away from him. "If you're not stupid then you would've already known that wigs are one size fits all."

"Of course I knew that! I am, after all, the mighty ZIM!"

"Okay, well then why did you look me up and down? Why were you inspecting me?" she asked.

Oh no. She'd backed him into a corner, using his vast knowledge against him. He'd spent too much time on Earth. These superficial humans were causing him to think too much of what a female looks like. Vex looked especially good. It was nice that he had another Irken to talk to, but she was distracting him from his mission. Sure, she wasn't doing it on purpose but never the less! As soon as she finished reaping her revenge upon Dib, Zim would kindly escort/ kick her off of his planet.

"Zim?" Vex called his name.

"Eh!?" he cried.

Vex looked at him, unsure of how stable the chemicals in his brain really were. "I asked you a question and instead of answering you just…stood there…doing nothing…not even blinking."

What should he say now? She was looking at him as though he was a slow smeet. "WIG!" he cried out, running away form her and into a different section of his lab.

"Zim, you still haven't answered my question!" she called out.

"What color would you prefer?"

"Color?" she questioned.

"Black, red, yellow, brown…" Zim kept on yelling out random colors, so to shut him up Vex called out;

"Black!"

"Good." This word uttered from Zim was followed by the noise of heavy machinery turning on, then something that sounded like a malfunctioning laser scanner. Zim's voice sounded out over the other noises, "Oh! The pain! Why?! Why so much PAIN!?!"

Vex winced slightly, debating whether she should go and check on Zim, or if she should pretend she hadn't heard anything.

Before she'd made her choice Zim came back into the room wearing a longer black wavy wig and blue contacts. He was only smoking slightly, which was good because it meant that the fire had gone out.

"We can just say that you're my younger sister if anyone asks." He wheezed as he took off the wig and took out the contacts, handing them to Vex.

"Thanks." She said.

Zim nodded, "Now, is that all you'll need to hurt Dib? I would supply you with information on the Dib-Beast, but he snuck into my lab the other week by means of a robotic squirrel suit and stole all the files I had on him."

Vex was astonished by this news. "He managed to infiltrate Irken security?"

"Yes. He is infuriating." Zim said, feeling his blood begin to boil with rage. "He's plagued me since I first came to Earth."

"He did the same to me." Vex said bitterly.

Zim causally leaned against his computer. "What did Dib-Stink do to you?" he asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.

Vex looked at Zim with no emotion showing on her face, "If you had a human on your examination table what would you do?"

Zim thought about it for a second and then answered; "Take out all the organs and replace them with organs from a chicken, cow and moose."

"Uh…" Vex narrowed an eye in speculation.

Zim gasped. "Vex, do you still have your squeedly spooch?"

Vex let out an annoyed sigh, "Yes, Zim. Dib probed me and inspected every aspect of me in hopes of finding out everything of my anatomy, including him taking blood samples, skin tissue and every other fluid you can take from an Irken." She finished, not knowing how Zim would react to a fellow Invader being violated in such a way.

"So…" Zim said, slowly looking up from the floor, where his gaze had been lingering since she told him what Dib had done. "So, you're squeedly spooch…"

Vex couldn't help but smile. "It's fine." She said, never having expected this sort of reaction.

"Good." Zim nodded and walked in several small circles, with his gaze on the floor, giving the impression that he was thinking. "I suppose I will leave for college come morning, regardless of your presence."

"Why wouldn't you go?" Don't you trust me?" her hands were placed firmly on her narrow hips as she glared daggers at Zim.

"Yes I trust you…more or less."

Vex shook her head. "Either way I'll be out all day tomorrow spying on Dib, so you won't have to worry about me touching your lab."

"Good, good." Zim muttered, clearly more preoccupied by the computer data he was looking at.

Vex rolled her disguise up into a neat little ball and put it into her PAK. "Oh, and I'll need to use your lab for my revenge thing." She added as an after thought on her way to the elevator.

"Yes, yes, that's fine, whatever you- WHAT?!" Zim jumped away from the computer console, finally having realized what she'd said.

"Thanks Zim!" She said with a huge smile, running at full speed towards the elevator.

"Vex!" he cried. "You still haven't told me about Tosna!"

She stepped into the elevator and spun around to see Zim glaring at her from the other side of the room. "There's always tomorrow, Zim!" she smiled and let out a small laugh, as the elevator doors slid shut.

She's infuriating! Zim thought to himself. He'd begun to pace back and forth. She would leave soon, though, so she wouldn't be a problem for long…then again for some reason he was enjoying her company. He didn't feel so lonely and she was pleasant to look at. What was he going to do about her?


End file.
